Almost half of all marriages are now second marriages for one or both spouses, and 75% of all divorced people eventually remarry.
The median age for remarriage is mid-thirties. Most children in these families are elementary age or pre-adolescent, which will require long-term patience, planning and persistence.
There are clear differences between blended families and intact families, with unique struggles and challenges for blended families. Here are some common issues that may impact relationships in blended families.
Do you...
Have idealistic expectations of how well you will get along with the step children, eg, believing that there will be few difficulties?
Carry guilt, anger and regret from failed marriages into the new blended family?
Experience frustration because the kids are being reared and influenced, at least part time by another set of parents?
Have well-defined parenting roles for you and your spouse, eg., have you discussed discipline methods and beliefs?
Have trouble establishing cohesiveness in your family?
Family counseling (systemic counseling) is often essential to resolve divergent viewpoints, value systems formulated to fit the previous families, and individual hurts and fears brought from a prior broken family. The entire family may need to come in for counseling to address the current difficulties, as well as establishing guidelines for reaching long-term stability goals.
Blended families often have complicated solutions. But don't give up. Seek guidance and counseling if problems don't dissolve or tend to multiply.
Good luck and best wishes.
Recommended reading:
7 Keys To a Healthy Blended Family by Jim Smoke