THE MOST DANGEROUS WORD OF ALL!!
Communication is more non-verbal than verbal; eg, body language, eye contact, the way we actually look at someone, abuse, etc.
But words can be very hurtful and relationship damaging. Like an arrow launched, words can never be recalled, and may cause more damage than we intend. Words that you grew up with and were considered acceptable in your home, may have been unofficially forbidden and deadly weapons in someone else's home.
Never ridicule someone because words you used offended them.
Apologize instead and amend your vocabulary.
However, the most Dangerous word of all is the word
'YOU'
Yes, this innocuous, common word is often hurtful and inflamatory.
It is often the 'trigger' word that moves conflict communication from Level 1 (Discussing the Issue) * to a Personal Attack.
'YOU' is used negatively when fault is being found, blame is being
made and the past is being brought up.
'You' is used to attack character, criticize and humiliate. It will always
produce a negative reaction.
'You' puts the other person on defense--which is a fighting position,
rather than a position of love and unity.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD OF 'YOU'
'I'
I feel, I am hurt, I am confused, I don't understand, I need help.
Assignment: Try discussing an issue of minor difference without using the word 'you'.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'You', used in love and tenderness is a most gentle, comforting and relationship strengthening word. Use it to commend and share.
*See Communication Tips for more information.